Navigating Grief During the Holidays

Here at The Anchor Clinic, we know and understand how the holiday season can be challenging when you are in the depths of grief and loss.  Perhaps you've experienced a recent loss or maybe you are beginning to feel new grief from the wounds of an old loss that is not quite healed.  Maybe you are in a helping field and you see how challenging this season can be.  As you are navigating grief, in any shape or form, this holiday season, TAC is here to remind you of some helpful tips that can help you or someone you know get through this potentially painful period of time.


How to Navigate Grief During the Holidays:

✨ Set Boundaries with Holiday Events ✨

• You can participate and not participate in whatever feels right for you.  While there may be pressure to attend a holiday party, family gathering, or holiday show — remember to check in with your wants and needs to identify your readiness.
• It might be helpful to commit to something that sounds fun, while also reminding yourself that you don’t have to stay the entire time.  It is also okay to opt-out of certain things altogether.  Finding a balance between engaging and not pushing yourself is very important.

✨ Tune Into Your Grief Emotions ✨

• Grief does not take a back seat during the holidays, and oftentimes, it can feel as though it has been magnified.  It is important to acknowledge your feelings and not avoid them - even though it may feel easier in the moment to do so.
• You may experience both negative and positive feelings during the holidays while grieving and that is OK.  Be kind to yourself and remember that all feelings can coexist.  For example, I can miss that person and enjoy the holiday at the same time.
• It may be tempting to numb your emotions with alcohol or substances during the holidays.  Anticipating these difficult emotions and preparing ahead of time will help prevent negative consequences from occurring.

✨ Plan Ahead to Fill Empty Holiday Roles ✨

• Loss often means that certain roles will need to be filled. It is important to think ahead (especially with children) to consider who will fill those vacated roles (e.g.; Dad always dressed as Santa or Grandma always cut the turkey).  Planning ahead can avoid unnecessary moments of grief and can help make the experiences more fluid and enjoyable.

✨ Honor Old Traditions & Honor Memories ✨

• It can be helpful to continue with old traditions that existed in order to honor and celebrate the individuals who are no longer here.  This is a helpful way to keep their memory present.

✨ Create New Traditions ✨

• Creating new traditions can be healing for those who are grieving.  Acknowledge, validate and then challenge any feelings of guilt that may arise in the process.  Remember: making new memories cannot and will not erase old memories.

✨ Identify Grief Coping Skills ✨

• Prior to the holiday season beginning, consider creating a list of go-to coping skills to use whether you are at home or at a social function.  This list will be handy when the grief hits you unexpectedly.  Some examples of coping skills are deep breathing, taking a walk, journaling, listening to music, practicing yoga and mindfulness, and saying positive [yet reality based] affirmations.  Bonus: here are our recommended affirmations that are balanced and not overly positive. [https://healingbrave.com/blogs/all/grief-affirmations-feeling-healing-difficult-emotions]

✨ Volunteer / Do Something Charitable ✨

• Helping others is another great way to navigate your grief while giving back and finding support in fellowship and community.  If you need ideas on how you can volunteer and give back this season,  check out this article with 33 holiday service projects. [https://bestlifeonline.com/holiday-charities/]

✨ Ask For Help When Struggling with Grief ✨

• It is important to seek support from friends, family, co-workers and mental health professionals when needed.  Whether you have lost someone close to you or not, the holidays can bring up many complicated feelings.  It’s completely normal and can be helpful to seek services from a licensed therapist or psychologist.

In closing, the holiday season is not always as merry as we want it to be.  It is normal to feel apprehensive about the holidays, and you are not alone in feeling that way.  Please remember that there is no right or wrong way to approach the holiday season following the loss of a loved one.  If you experience happiness, allow it to enter into your grief space and be present with the people around you.  Be kind to yourself and try to take it one holiday party and one feeling at a time. 


With love and support,
Your TAC Family ⚓